Little markers that remind us that time won't wait.

Try as I might to shake the disbelief from my mind, next week will be two months since my Dad died and one month since my friend Clayton died. The 'one-two' punch of these events seem to have compounded somewhat and wore me down. It took a lot of energy to get through the weeks shortly after my father passed, and then Clayton dying set me back to the beginning of it all. My immune system must be shot. I've had a cold for nearly two weeks, I can't shake it. The damn thing has mutated through every conceivable form. I'm hoping this sneezing and coughing variation is the end of it.

Lots of good things are happening. I was lucky enough to find a group of guys who were looking for a lead singer/ lyricist. I tried out, and so far they seem to enjoy what I've brought to the group. I just hope I can deliver what they're looking for, because it really feels good to be working in a band environment again. I have really missed it. This time it feels far more fulfilling though, since I can do more than just learn cover tunes..I actually get to write lyrics, and create melodies to go with the fantastic music they've written. I'll probably even dust off a few of the old songs I wrote years ago and let them work something out for them.

The main thing I've been experiencing lately is that the pain of my Dad dying is getting easier to cope with, it's missing him that is getting harder. The further away I get from the last time we spoke, the harder it is to deal with the fact that I simply can't speak to him anymore...not outside of my dreams anyway. He's just not there. I miss his voice. I wonder if the things I'm holding in aren't manifesting as this cold. Just feels like my body is breaking down at times. Well, I probably just need to have another good cry...or a few. You don't realize until someone is gone, that a part of you leaves with them.