I've been discussing the future with Mary, and I've come to realize that I have to go away by myself for awhile. I'm not sure for how long, but I have to leave here and find my own way in life for a time. I'm tired of following, I need to take the lead...like I used to, and break a new path. I don't think I'll be moving to Halifax as soon as I anticipated, instead there will be a detour of sorts and I'll go live in Vancouver for awhile. I want to look for work as an actor. I've let fear control me for too long. I'm not sure I really 'hate' Vancouver as much as I think I do, I think I simply fear it. Well, I'm going to pick up some crap job somewhere in the next week or two and save enough money to travel out to Van by train. I'll also have to make sure I can leave Mary with some cash to help out. We haven't really discussed that part of it, but she'll likely need to find a room mate.
I'm afraid...but in a good way I think.
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